The Adventures of Iz and Kiki
by QueensOfAnimeObsessions
Summary: Two girls, who may or may not be crazy, end up in Phantomhive Gardens. Let's just say it's not going to be pretty.
1. Chapter 1

**Kiki: Hi! This is our first co-written fic! We are more or less writng it for our amusement, so the characters may be slightly OOC and it will seem that we're on crack...but enjoy it!**

**Iz: More like we're drunk and on crack. Anyways enjoy!**

**Kiki: I hope we didn't scare them of-GRELL STOP CHASING SEBAS-CHAN, YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THIS CHAPTER! *Runs after Grell***

**Iz: I'm pretty sure we scared them off no-KIKI DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A LITTLE TOO HARSH ON GRELL!**

**Sebastian: *Watches as Iz chases Kiki* *Sweat drops* Kiki and Iz do not own Black Butler...thank god...Please enjoy the story.**

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>- _What The Hell?_

"Hey Iz, do you have the popcorn?" asked Kiki.

"I thought that was your job," Iz said.

"But you're in the kitchen! Now hurry up or I'll start Black Butler without you!" Kiki snapped.

Iz walked into the living room holding the popcorn, "Here you go," she said and dropped it in Kiki's lap.

"You're lucky I don't have my spork with me..." Kiki grumbled turning on the TV.

"Oh, not the spork!" Iz replied sarcastically.

"I will kick you out," Kiki threatened.

"Fine, I'll shut up and so should you since Black Butler is starting, " Iz replied while Kiki stared intently at Sebastian.

"Sebby is so sexy," Kiki said.

"Mmhm...I wish I lived in that house do you know everything you could do?" Iz said.

"That would be awesome," Kiki replied.

"Fuck, it's raining cats and dogs outside," Iz said looking out the window, then went back to watching Black Butler.

"Shh, This is my fave part..." Kiki said.

"Sebastian gets shot, how is that you fave part?" Iz said.

"He spits the bullets out of his mouth..." Kiki smiled, just then the power went out.

"FUCK IT ALL," Kiki yelled.

"Ha-Ha" Iz laughed.

"You wouldn't think it'd been funny if you-aggh!" Kiki squeaked falling on to a table.

"Nice going, Kiki," Iz sniggered.

"I didn't do it! The room shook!" Kiki whined still laying on the coffee table.

"Yeah sure it d-shit," Iz cussed falling on her butt.

"Believe me now?" Kiki asked smugly.

"Oh shut up. Now what's going?"

"The house is moving," Kiki said.

"Thank you, Professor Einstein."

"Sarcasm will not help."

"Shut up," Iz grumbled trying to get back up.

"I feel like I'm gonna pass out," Kiki mumbled as a big flash of lighting was the last thing they saw before it went black.

_***Page Break Of Awesomeness***_

"Ugh my head," Kiki moaned sitting up .and letting out a shriek, "WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?"

"I'm up!" Iz said sitting up fast, "Whoa..." she mumbled standing up, "This is cool!""Cool?

"How is us blacking out during a thunder storm and waking up in a giant garden where it's sunny outside cool?" Kiki said standing up and smacking Iz upside the head.

"Ow! And I dunno but lets go check out that mansion!" Iz smiled running towards the oddly familiar house.

"Wait up!" Kiki yelled.

"Someone left the back door unlocked! Score!" Iz said running inside the mansion without any caution.

"I said wait up!" Kiki said finally making it to the door.

"This place is awesome! It's freaking huge too!"

"Where are you?" Kiki shouted out to Iz.

"Right here," Iz said her head popping out from a doorway. "I think I see a kitchen, come on!"

"Okay, okay I'm coming," Kiki said following Iz.

"It is a kitch-OH MY GOD!"

"What is it?" Kiki asked before she saw what Iz saw.

"Holy Shit," Kiki whispered, they had ran into the kitchen to find an exact scene from Black Butler.

"I jus' wanna know if we can eat i-" The big dude who looked exactly like Bard stop when he saw them.

Iz and Kiki were mentally freaking out, Kiki was taking quick short breathes, and Iz was trying to say something, "Uh...H-h-hi? W-w-we uh um uh..."

"I-I'm Kiki and she is Iz and we sort of just appeared in your garden," Kiki completed for Iz.

Before they could reply Iz asked,"What are your names?"

The little dude replied," I'm Finny, he's Bard, and she's Mei-rin."

That is when Kiki and Iz really freaked out.

"I-I-I bet you're wondering where we came from and why were here..." Kiki said, "Well, we came from...um...far away, and uh I'm not sure how or why we got here," she sweatdropped, "We just kinda woke up in the gardens..."

"Young Master and Sebastian will want to hear about this..." Mei-rin siad.

Iz glanced over to Kiki, knowing fully well that Kiki was mentally screaming her head off at the mention of Sebastian's name.

"S-so this is um Phantomhive Manor where uh...Ciel Phantomhive lives? Iz asked.

"Yes," Mei-rin answered as Iz eyes widened.

"If you will excuse me," Iz said before walking out.

Multiple shouts of "Oh my god" was heard.

"Sebastian...," Kiki mutters staring off in space.

"Are they ok?" asked Bard.

"I'm not sure..." Mei-rin said.

"Ahem, since we have no place to live do you think Ciel Phantomhive would lets us stay?" Kiki asked.

"Hmm, he might make you a maid or something," Mei-rin mummured.

"Young Master's back!" Finny said looking out the window.

"Ciel's here! They're here! They're actually here!" Iz jumped around shouting.

"SEBASTIAN!" Kiki shouted before slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Uh, where is the door they are going to come in through?" Iz asked.

"I dunno, this part is foggy because the power went out before this part..." Kiki said, relieved that Bard, Finny, and Mei-rin were outside and didn't hear anything."

Look," Iz whispered looking through the window, "I can see them!"

"Iz! We can't let them know we know all about them!" Kiki said, "We might be killed!"

"We don't know all about them doofus, I can't remembr past episode 7 of Black Butler!" Iz said.

"Still, we shouldn't act like we know about them!"

"Fine, but this means you must be careful around Sebastian since no one knows what he really is and we do and one of us has a fetish for him," Iz stared pointedly at Kiki."

I know and he is _sexy_!"

"Let's just go meet them! I think the door is to the right!"

"We're going left then," Kiki said turning left.

"Do you not trust my navagational skills!" Iz whined.

"Not a chance! I'd rather have my soul sucked out by dementors than follow your directions..." Kiki said.

"Here we are!" Kiki said happily then saw Sebastian, "Must. Fight. Urge. To. Glomp." Kiki squealed.

"Oh dear lord..." Iz said trying to pull Kiki back, "Damn you're strong..."

"Kiki, calm down!" Iz said struggling to hold Kiki.

"But he is so glompable!"

"What? Nevermind. Oh look Ciel! He is adorable!" Iz said still trying to keep hold of a Kiki that was slowly inching forward.

Iz ended up sitting on Kiki's back to stop her, "Kiki, Stop!" she smacked Kiki's shoulder, "Hey I just realized something."

That distracted Kiki."What?"

"We're still wearing our modern clothes..."Kiki looked down at her short shorts and Soul Eater tank top with Death the Kid on it.

"And what is the year?"

"It would be 1889" Kiki heard someone say behind her.

"Holy shit," Iz said with a start looking behind her to see Sebastian.

Kiki's head looked like it was going to explode

"Uh, hello," Iz greeted Sebastian since she knew if Kiki tried to talk it would probably come out as a scream.

Kiki's eye widened, "Eeeeeeee" she said in a high pitched voice.

"Shh!" Iz said, "Uh, um, Hi...we want to know if w-we could work as maids? Cause um we're not from here..."

Kiki rolled her eyes and thought, '_It's obvious we weren't from here, since we have American accents, and etc, and since Demons, Shinigami and other stuff exist here I'm guessing Sebastian already knows we're not from this time._'

"So can we work here?" Iz asked hopefully.

"Young Master, these two ladies would like to know if they may work for you," Sebastian said to Ciel.

"Do they have any expirence?" Ciel said coldly.

"More or less," Kiki mumbled.

"We also have something important to say..." Iz said. Kiki gave her a '_Shut the hell up!_' look.

"Hmm...If it is of importance," Ciel said walking to the mansion.

"It is very important. You see-," Iz was able to say before Kiki slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Nothing she says is important!" Kiki said trying to keep her hand over Iz's mouth

"I would like to hear what she thinks is so important," Ciel said.

"Trust me you don't. You see she was dropped on her head as a chil- ew Iz don't lick my hand!" Kiki said removing her hand from Iz's mouth.

Iz stuck her tongue out at Kiki, "Serves you right"

"Come to my study while Sebastian makes dinner," Ciel said.

"Mhmm.." Kiki said while slapping Iz on the head.

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><p><strong>Kiki: *Is sitting on a tied up and gagged Grell* Thanks for reading this!<strong>

**Iz: *is wiping blood from arm* Yes thank you for reading! And make sure to review! Or else.**

**Kiki: IZ! No threatening the readers! Kayso bai-bai till we bother getting off our lazy asses to write another Chapter!**

**Iz: Bai!**

**QueensOfAnimeObsessions**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kiki: I'm so happy, I promised myself (And Iz) we'd start writing after our 1st Review. So Thank you Hope Diamond for being our first reviewer! **

**Iz: Yes thank you! *happy dance* This calls for yaoi! *holds of yaoi book* **

**Kiki: No Yaoi! At least not yet...**

**Iz: *pouts* Fine. Anyways I hope who ever is reading enjoys this chapter! **

**Me: Yep! and Iz and I don't own Black Butler...**

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><p>"-and we ended up in your garden" Iz concluded.<p>

"Still think you should've kept your big mouth shut, Iz," Kiki grumbled.

" They would have most likely found out anyway. I'm pretty sure girls didn't wear booty shorts and tank tops in the late 1800s. Plus we are going to need their help. At sometime we will have to go back to our time," Iz replied.

"...Screw you."

" Say what ever you want I'm right. Don't believe me let's ask the child prodigy. Hey Ciel, if what happened to us happened to you would you keep your mouth shut and just go with the flow or tell someone that could help you out?"

" I would do the second but with more of a plan to it so that they know somethings but not everything so it can't be used against me somehow." Ciel said in a bored tone.

"Does that mean I'm right?" Iz asked confused.

"Somewhat," Ciel sighed.

Kiki rolled her eyes, "Does this mean we can work for you?"

"Yes," Ciel said as if it were obvious.

"Shit, I have to wear a dress...I'll only wear the dress if I get to fix it a bit.."

"Fine..."

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"You look like a slut," Iz said.

"Do Not!" Kiki protested.

"Dude, you're not wearing stockings, your dress is now mid-thigh instead of around the knee, and you've changed the neck part so it's in a v-cut instead of it being high, and ripped off the sleeves."

"I. Do not wear. Long. Stuffy. Dresses." Kiki said.

"Mhmm, you're trying to get Sebastian's attention."

"No! If I was I would've worn cat ears and a cat tail..."

Iz rolled her eyes at Kiki.

"What you look like a gothic maid!"

"I don't."

"You're wearing ripped stockings, black dress, boots, and your bangs are falling in your eyes again."

Iz stuck up her nose, " I look badass not goth."

"You're right, you're not goth, you're EMO!" Kiki said.

"Why you-" Iz went to tackle Kiki.

"You can't hit me!"

"Why not?"

"Cause I are AWESOME" Kiki blew a rasberry.

Iz sweatdropped, "Seriously?"

"Yep, oh an-WHAT THE HELL?" Kiki said as something rushed by her...on a tea cart?

"Grell," They said in unison rushing to the crashing noise where Ciel was eating lunch.

"We should get over there now," Iz said running to where Grell went.

"Wait up!" Kiki said following Iz.

"I'm actually seeing Grell in the flesh," Iz said stepping into the room," Does anyone else feel like singing Lovegame? It's just Grell perfect."

"But he's acting as a wimply suicidal butler..." Kiki poined out.

"Ow hot!" Finny yelled as the tea landed on him.

"I'm so sorry!" Grell said grabbing a napkin and ended up pulling down the table cloth and the food Ciel was eating; Iz and Kiki snickered.

"Grell is such a klutz. How can you not love him?" Iz said looking at the mess Grell made.

"Hey, since we're the maids are we going to have to clean that up?" Kiki asked.

"Yes," Sebastian said behind them, "We need to leave for a bit to get something"

"Ciel's pimp cane" Iz whispered in Kiki's ear which made her laugh.

"Grell, just sit there and if you choose to kill yourself please do it outside and try not to make a mess," Sebastian gave a small smile.

"So generous!" Grell smiled.

"Oh No Grell did not just make googly eyes at my Sebas-chan!" Kiki said.

"Get over it. Plus Grell may be a dude," Iz said picking up dishes.

"That's no ex-"

"Shut up and help me," Iz cut off Kiki.

"Grell_ is_ a dude, moron, or have you not noticed the lack of rack?" Kiki rolled her eyes, "And no, I'm going outside, Grell's gonna try to hang himself remember?"

"Oh yeah must see that! But then we do have to clean this up or Ciel might hit us with his pimp cane," Iz snickered.

They went outside just as Tanaka became normal and started explaining something to Grell.

"Ya know I think Grell purposely cut the buches in a skull shape..." Iz said to Kiki.

"Yea...Oh That's so cool, Tanaka deflated..." Kiki laughed.

"Like a balloon!" Iz said staring at the bushes.

"Why are you still looking at the bushes?" Kiki asked.

"Just wondering if I could cut my bushes like this."

Everyone looked at the bushes, "I'm a failure!" Grell yelled and climbed up ladder and put his neck through a conveintly placed noose.

"Oh Grell is trying to kill himself! I wish I had a camera!" Iz said watching Grell with a noose around his neck.

"Only you will want a personal recording of someone's almost death," Kiki said.

"You would want one of someone's real death..." Iz pointed out.

"Ye-Lizzie! When did you get here and why did you take the ladder from under Grell's feet?" Kiki asked.

"Who are you? Did Ciel get more maids?" Lizzie asked, "Oh well follow me to make the mansion prettiful!"

"Alrighty then," Iz said skipping after Lizzie.

"I feel like we're forgetting to do something...oh well!" Kiki said catching up with Iz and Lizzie.

"We're also going have to do over your maid outfit it's not very cheerful!" Lizzie said looking at Iz.

"Ha! I have no problem with not being cheerful!" Kiki said smiling.

"More like you're trying to make dudes cheerful in their pants," Iz said.

"So not true," Kiki said slapping Iz.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

After a few minutes they decorated the main hall and the parlor, "So pretty!" Lizzie said, "How are you guys doin-AHHHH! That's not pretty at all!"

"What?" Kiki and Iz asked innocently.

A small part of the room was the complete opposite of Lizzie's decorations. It had black streamers, ripped curtains and zombie stuffed animals.

"It's pretty!" Kiki said.

"Ciel and Sebastian are back..." Iz pointed through the window.

"Ciel!" Lizzie squealed at the same time Kiki yelled, "Sebastian!"

"My-my mansion!" They heard Ciel yelled.

"But are side is pretty! Right Ciel?" Iz said pointing at the side her and Kiki decorated.

"Ciel," Lizzie glomped Ciel," Don't you love my decorations!"

Ciel looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Ciel, are you okay?" Iz asked while putting up a posters of a haunted mansion," Forgot about putting this up."

We all walked to the parlor and saw Grell hanging from a noose, "Grell, what are you doing?" Ciel asked.

"I believe I'm in the process of dying" Grell wheezed out.

"Sebastian, get him down..."

" Ah, Grell's death attempts at so funny!" Iz said snickering.

"Yea..." Kiki smiled.

"I've made the room prettiful Ciel!" Lizzie smiled

"I still think ours is better!" Iz said.

"I have to agree. What do you thing Sebastian?" Kiki said staring at Sebastian.

"No..." Sebastian said.

"Ciel, we're having a ball! I picked out an outfit for you!" Lizzie smiled.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"Shhh...Shh...Ow my foot!" Iz said to Kiki as they were spying on Sebastian showing Ciel how to dance.

"You must smile, Young Lord..." Sebastian said, squeezing Ciel's cheeks. Ciel slapped his hand away.

"Oh, he did not hit my Sebby!" Kiki said.

"Shut up and listen!" Iz said looking back into the room.

"I forgotten how to smile." Iz heard Ciel said.

"Oh my God! That's so sad! Ciel!" Iz said blowing her's and Kiki's cover and tackling Ciel in a hug.

"Get off me!" Ciel said.

"I love you Sebas-chan!" Kiki yelled trying to tackle Sebastian, but he just took a step to the side, "OOF!" Kiki yelled as she thudded to the floor.

"Ciel you couldn't have forgotten to smile!" Iz said still keeping Ciel in a bear hug," We must make you smile!"

"I think I heard my ribs crack," Kiki said rolling into her back.

"Get off!" Ciel said pushing the 16 year old off him.

"Whatever..." Iz said, "Oh and Lizzie said be down in 10 minutes.."

"Pain..." Kiki whimpered.

"Suck it up," Iz said dragging her down hall.

"I love it!" Kiki said, "Sebas-chan's so abusive,"

"What the fuck? Seriously?" Iz said rolling her eyes.

"Sebas-chan!" Kiki shouted.

"Kiki, youre acting like a desperate girl that will do anything for a guy if they just look at them. It's pathetic." Iz said dragging Kiki down the stairs.

"But, ow, I would, ow, do anything, ow, for Sebas-chan. OW! Stop dragging me!" Kiki said getting out of Iz's grip.

"Whatever," Iz said and pushed Kiki down the rest of the stairs.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"Why couldn't my dress be a sexy scarett red with a waist line to complement my figure?" Grell wailed.

"Is that what your complaing about?" Bard yelled.

Iz and Kiki snickered at them.

"I think you look great, Grell," Iz said nicely to Grell.

"Yeah you'll make a great drag queen someday!" Kiki said.

"I shall kill myself!" Grell said ignoring Iz and Kiki, he started running to the window.

Everyone just stared at him, "You're not going to stop me?"

"Nope.." Kiki said.

"Ciel! You're so cute!" Lizzie squealed runing to Ciel, suddenly she got all creepy evil looking, "Why aren't you wearing the ring I gave you?"

"This is getting good," Iz said listening closely.

"Grell, if you're going to jump do a already and get out of the way I'm trying to watch Lizzie and Ciel drama." Kiki said.

"This ring isn't even pretty!" Lizzie said.

"Give it back, Lizzie!" Ciel raised his voice.

"I just wanted everything to be perfect! I hate this ring!" Lizzie cried and flung it to the ground.

Kiki and Iz stared wide eyed at the ring on the floor.

Ciel raised his hand to slap Lizzie, when Sebastian stopped his hand, "You forgot your-"

"Pimp cane" Iz said quietly between coughs.

"What was that?" Sebastian ask Iz.

"Um...Limpy cane. I said limpy cane..." Iz said stupidly.

"Idiot," Kiki muttered as Iz shot her a glare.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow then continued talking, "Please forgive my young master, Miss Elizabeth, that ring was a family heirloom that was truely one of a kind and was very dear to him."

"Oh Ciel, I'm so sorry!" Lizzie sniffled.

"...It's doesn't matter now, it was just a ring.." Ciel picked up the ring and threw it out the window.

"Well, if you didn't care for it you could have given it to me. Do you know how much value a 1800s ring goes for in my time?" Iz said.

"Iz."

"Yes?"

"Shut the hell up," Kiki said.

"Ok..." Iz said.

"Now you must stop crying, how can I asked a girl to dance if her eyes are red and puffy?" Ciel said.

Sebastian started playing the violin and soon Grell started singing, Kiki whispered something into Iz's ear and she nodded. Iz went up behind Sebastian and took the violin and started playing.

"Dance with me Sebastian!" Kiki laughed pulling him down the stairs.

Iz rolled her eyes at Kiki but continued playing.

"Sebastian may be one hell of a butler, but I'm one hell of a violin player," Iz said continuing her voilin playing.

"I'm dancing with Sebastian," Kiki whispered as she danced with Sebastian.

'_The things I put up with_' Sebastian thought.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"Such Fun!" Kiki smiled when it was night.

"I'll send Lady Elizabeth home," Grell said.

"Playing a violin can really put strain on your fingers neck but it was so fun!" Iz said cracking her neck.

"I danced with Sebastian," Kiki said dreamily as Mei-rin glared at her.

"Bye Grell, try not to kill youself!" Iz said, "C'mon Kiki, we need to clean up the decorations, I doubt Ciel would want them up much longer"

"Oka-" Kiki was cut off by the sound of the song S&M, "Oh hey, I totally forgot I had my iPod..." Kiki said pulling her iPod out of her shirt.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me," Iz sang along setting up a ladder to get down the decorations.

"Hey Iz I don't think you should dance and sing while on a lad-"

"I'll be fin-ahh," Iz screamed falling off the latter.

Kiki laughed, "Smooth."

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><p><strong>Iz: Well hope you enjoyed this chapter!<strong>

**Kiki: Yes This chapter took forever and we wrote most of it when we were half asleep, well I was half asleep...**

**Iz: I'm always half asleep.**

**Kiki: We're getting of topic now...BAI!**

**QueensOfAnimeObsessions**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kiki: HEY PEOPLEZ!**

**Iz: What up? *head nod* **

**Kiki: We started this chapter late because we totally forgot almost everything, (Minus the Corset Scene, who could forget that!) in episode 4 :3**

**Iz: Corset Scene...*drool* But anyways here is the next chapter! And I totally own Black Butler! **

**Kiki: No you don't, besides if you did I'd own Sebastian...**

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><p>"I hear them coming," Kiki whispered listening through the door.<p>

"At least it'd be a break from those six," she heard Sebastian say rather annoyed, which was what triggered her 'trama switch' and she went to her emo corner.

"Yea, and I'm the emo one.." Iz rolled her eyes.

"Where do they keep the tea in this place?" Madame Red asked.

"I don't know," Lau and Iz said at the same time.

"Lau! Madane Red! Iz! Kiki! What are you doing here?" Ciel said.

"We were bored...So we came here!" Iz said.

Ciel rolled his eyes at Iz.

"Ciel you're early dear," Madam Red said.

"Your being here could only me one thing," Lau said with his always there smile.

"The queen's guard dog has a new scent to follow," Madam Red said.

"Cue theme song!" Iz shouted as everyone stared at her.

"OK!" Kiki smiled, coming out of her emo corner, she pressed play on her iPod.

"I got them moves like jagger..."

"Opps wrong song!" Kiki laughed, pressing play again.

"There is no color to our meeting, it blows through, in monochrome" Iz and Kiki starting singing, much to Ciel's annoyance, "I go where your cool finger beckon me. I am like troublesome ice after the melt. You gently scoop me up to your mouth and play with my upper lip. Still, I search for a form of love. The dry eyes that shapes the present rather than a distant time. I want to end like this, cloaked. But the night ignores the wish and brings morning. With you gentle, passionate and dastardly kiss. Paint this final night. The moon illuminates us."

"Are you done now?" Ciel asked annoyed.

"Yes," Iz and Kiki said at the same time.

"Good, Now come on, we must go to the crime scene..." Ciel said.

"But Ciiiiieeeeelllllll" Kiki whined, grabbing Ciel by the ankle, "We were gonna make you tea!"

"You don't even know where the tea is!" Ciel yelled.

"True but we will find it," Iz getting ready to make a bigger mess.

"Oh no!" Ciel shouted.

"Aw..." Iz said.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"Aww...I wanted to see the dead body," Kiki pouted as Ciel lead them away from the crime scene.

Ciel ignored her, "It looks like we'll need to get information another way."

"My Lord!" Lau said, "You don't mean...?"

"Yes, I do..." Ciel said.

Soon everyone was standing outside the builing with the sign Undertaker.

"So, where are we?" Lau asked.

"IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEN WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Madame Red shouted. Kiki and Iz giggled as they walked in .

"Hello, Earl Phantomhive," they heard a voce from behind a coffin say, the Undertaker walked out, "Do I finally have the pleasure of fitting you for one of my coffins?"

"EEEEEEEE!" Kiki squealed running up and hugging Undertaker.

"Sorry about that..." Iz said prying Kiki off the Undertaker only to also give him a hug.

"If you two don't behave I will make you wait outside," Ciel threatened.

Kiki and Iz backed away from the Undertaker.

"Now back to why I'm he-"

"No need to say I'm already aware," The Undertake said putting his fingers on Ciel's lips, "very well aware. One of my resent costumers was a bit usual shall we say. I helped though; I made her look beautiful again."

Iz and Kiki were getting bored and sarted looking at the coffins, it was fun, until Iz locked herself in one. Kiki looked over to them.

"I gave you a special discount last time but I won't again," the Undertaker said.

"Everyone please step outside, and try not to listen..." Sebastian said.

Kiki finallly got the coffin open and covered Iz's mouth, and motioned her head towards Sebastian and the Undertaker. Suddenly Iz and Kiki were rolling on the floor laughing at Sebastian's joke.

"I thought I said to leave the building," Sebastian scowled at them.

"Iz got herself locked in a coffin!" Kiki said.

"Yes I'm traumatized right now and yelling at me will make it worst," Iz said with a hand over her heart.

"And yelling at me could also make her worst," Kiki said as Iz nodded.

Sebastian gave them both a hard look as they stared back with moe moe pouts.

"It's not working..." Kiki whispered.

"What the fuck? How can you resist our moe-moe pouts?" Iz said.

"I am simply one hell of a butler" Sebastian said and walked away.

"He said the line," Kiki said, "He's so hot"

"Kiki, your drooling..."

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"This carriage is small," Iz complained, she was smushed between Kiki and the wall.

Kiki on the other hand was not complaining, because she was sitting next to Sebastian.

"Kiki gets Sebastian, I get a wall," Iz muttered as everyone else continued talking about the case.

"I will make a list of suspects and question them immediately my lord," Sebastian opened the carriage door," Now if you will excuse me."

"Sebastian jumped out so move over, Kiki," Iz said not giving a second thought to what just happened.

"He knew that we're moving right," Madam Red asked.

"Sebastian will take care of it for now. We could head home and have a cup of tea while we wait," Ciel said with a bored tone.

"Are you high?" Iz asked Lau randomly.

"Shut up Iz," Kiki said.

When they got home Sebastian was inside waiting to open the door.

"What?" Madame Red asked confused, "How are you here?"

"Oh! I know!" Iz said raising her hand.

"I'll kill you of you don't shut up and put your hand down now," Kiki warned Iz.

Iz put down her hand pouting.

"What kind of a butler would I be if I couldn't do this much?" Sebastian said.

"So I hide the tiny camera right here and we're good to go..." Iz said to Kiki and the ran out ofthe room and down stairs where they were teach Ciel to act like a girl.

"Well Ciel you now have to listen to us," Iz said with a smirk.

"Great I'm learning how to be a lady from a girl who looks like she could be a descendent of the Undertaker and girl who dresses like a hooker," Ciel said.

"I don't look like a hooker!" Kiki defended herself.

"Do I really look like I could be related to the Undertaker?" Iz asked.

"Yes," Ciel said plainly.

"Awesome!"

"Can we just get start the lessons?" Ciel asked frustrated.

"Oh, yeah! Shall we start with the voice, walk, or flirting?" Iz asked Kiki.

"Hmm, the voice. Ciel, no offense, but you sound so serious and rude, a girl must have her voice light and swe-IZ GET BACK HERE OR I'LL RIP YOUR INNARDS OUT AND WEAR THEM AS JEWELRY!-Now as I was saying, light and sweet."

After 3 painful hours later Madame Red came in, "I found one for Ciel!" She held up a corset.

"You can try to run, but we'll find you," Iz whspered in his ear.

Ciel stares wide eye at Iz and gulped.

"I just scared a kid with a demon butler. I'm so proud of myself," Iz said smiling.

"I can't wait for when Ciel must get ready," Kiki said happily to Iz.

"I know," Iz replied.

"So who's going to this ball?" Kiki asked.

"You two aren't going," Ciel said knowing where Kiki was heading.

"Why not?" Iz whined.

"Young woman are being murdered and you want to go to a ball of a suspect for these murders when you two are young woman?" Ciel asked them.

"You called us young woman," Iz said.

"We're more like immature teens...of course your 12 yet you're gonna be flirting with a... How old is Viscount Druitt?" Kiki asked turning towards Iz, she shrugged.

"Please can we go Ciel? PLEASE?" Kiki asked, "I won't get into any trouble honest!"

"I wouldn't get in trouble either! Please, Ciel!" Iz begged getting on her knees.

"You two always get into to trouble," Ciel said.

"Please," Iz and Kiki said with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," Ciel said as Kiki and Iz continued doing their puppy dog eyes.

"Please..."

"Oh fine!" Ciel said surrendering to the power of puppy dog eyes.

YAY!" Iz and Kiki shouted.

"Now go get dressed, the ball is in a few hours"

"Fuck it, we have no dresses..." Iz said.

"Now how do you get this on?" Ciel asked looking at the corset.

"I'll help you My Lord.." Sebastian said walking upstairs with Ciel.

"Madame Red, We don't have any dresses for the ball...Can we go buy some?" Iz asked sweetly.

"Oh of course," Madam Red said.

"YAY!" Iz yelled dragging Madame Red out the door, Kiki rolled her eyes and walked normally out.

"Hey, uh, where do we go to get the dresses?" Iz asked.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"A magical place called a store," Kiki replied.

"Smart ass," Iz said.

"Bitch," Kiki replied

"ASSHOLE"

"FUCKTARD!"

"Girls!" Madame Red yelled.

"Yes?" They asked innocently.

"We're at the store..."

"Yes!" Iz yelled.

"Iz stop yelling," Madam Red said to Iz.

"She yells too," Iz said pointing at Kiki.

"Not as much as you..." Kiki said

"I hate long dresses," Kiki whined, she was wearing a long dark pink dres.

"Suck it up..." Iz said, "Could be worse..."

"You're right I could look emo like you...Dammit this corset is killing me, how do you breath in this?"

"Why do the dresses have to be so fuckin poofy? It's even smaller in this carriage" Iz said

"It's not lady-like to cuss morons," Ciel said.

"Whatever.." Kiki said.

"Woman are allowed to be bitchy and anyone who disagrees will die," Iz said trying to get comfortable.

"You two wanted to come so don't complain," Ciel said.

"We're here!" Kiki said as the carriaged stopped, she rushed out f the carriage, "I'm claustrophobic.."

"You're afraid of Santa Clause?" Iz asked.

"No you idiot," Kiki said.

"Why exactly do I have to dress up as girl?" Ciel asked.

"Because, I've always wanted a girl!" Madame gushed.

"My pedo bear senses are tingling..." Iz whispered, and sure enough saw Viscount Druitt staring at them.

"He is like the creepy ass pedo version of Tamaki," Iz said.

"Will you shut up?" Ciel said.

"Oh jeeze, I will never look at Tamaki the same way again..." Kiki said ignoring Ciel.

"I'm glad Lizzie isn't here," Ciel said.

"Oh I absolutely love your dress!" A loud voice exclaimed.

"Ciel I think you may have jinked yourself," Iz said pointing to Lizzie.

"Yeah and if Lizzie spots you she will know you are Sebastian and Druitt wouldn't try raping or murdering you. Which ever he does," Kiki said.

"I love all the dresses here!" Lizzie said.

"Maybe she won't notice us...keep walking..." Kiki whispered.

"OH YOU IN THE LIGHT PINK I LOVE YOUR DRESS!"

"Good Luck..." Kiki dashed off with Iz.

"Do you think that was kinda mean of us to ditch him?" Iz asked kind of guilty.

"If you wanna go and talk with Lizzie go ahead."

"Nah, I'll stay here."

"Look Ciel, and Sebastian are dancing," Kiki pointed, "awesome, and oh dear Lord, now Ciel's talking to Viscount Druitt"

"Ciel is flirting with a pedo, wonderful," Iz said.

"It's for the case! To bad we can't just say who Jack the Ripper is..." Kiki said, "Oh Look Sebastan's Magic Show is starting!"

"Come on let's try getting to the front of crowd," Iz said elbowing people out of the way.

"Where did Sebastian get all those swords?" Kiki asked.

"And now I will lock myself in here," Sebastian said.

"He is a demon," Iz said watching Sebastian's magic show.

"I've always wondered why Lau aimed for Sebastian's head first..." Kiki said, "Iz?" She looked around Iz wasn't there.

"Now was this the stair case he led Ciel too?" Iz wondered walking up the stairs.

"Oh shit," Kiki looked around her," I lost Iz."

When Sebastian came out unharmed Kiki ran up and said, "Iz is missing, does that mean I have to do her share of cleaning?"

"You don't care if your friend is missing?" Sebastian asked.

"That did not answer my question."

"You don't even clean."

"Oh Yea...Nevermind!" Kiki smiled, "Hey can I come with you when you rescue Ciel?"

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked.

"Oh just that Ciel is gonna order you to rescue him in a few seconds..." Kiki said non-chalant, "Because he has been kidnapped by the pedophile Viscount Druitt and is currently in a black market auction about to be sold to someone..."

Sebastian looked at Kiki,"I doubt you are cor- I have to go rescue Ciel."

"HAHA!" Kiki said smugly.

**_*Page Break of Awesomeness*_**

"I should've re-thought following Ciel..." Iz said lying on a bed in her and Kiki's shared room.

"No shit sherlock," Kiki said, "Oh and I've found something useful to us,"

"Huh?"

"We can't die...Seriously, I was playing with one of the swords and it went through my arm...How awesome is that?"

"So if I took...ah, this weird miniature statue with a point and stabbed myself I will be fine?" Iz asked picking up the statue.

"Probably..."

Iz took the statue, held it above her head, and stabbed her leg.

"FUCK," Iz screamed.

"OMG! Are you okay?" Kiki asked.

"Yep, gotcha!" Iz laughed.

Things in this worlds can't hurt you but I still can, and remember hitting the floor hurts too" Kiki glared.

* * *

><p><strong>Kiki: Wow this little fucker took forever to write... :3 I can't wait till we write the next chapter :3 <strong>

**Iz: Yeah. Hope you liked this one. It did take awhile.**

**Kiki: Thanks to HeavyMetalRose for reveiwing, and we need atleast one reveiw before we update again cause if we didn't then it would be updated 4 times a day...BAI!**

**Iz: BAI!**

**QueensOfAnimeObsessions**


	4. Chapter 4

**Iz: Hey I started off first this time since I usually am a lazy ass and don't rewatch the episode and I did that this time to but anyways thanks HeavyMetalRose for reviewing! **

**Kiki: HEY! IT'S MY JOB TO THANK THE REVIEWERS! Why the hell do you think I made the cue cards! URG! *Storms off stage***

**Ciel: She needs anger management...Anyways...*Looks at Kiki's cue cards* Blah-Blah-Blah They do not own Kuroshitsuji... **

**Iz: But I am working on it..**

**Ciel: Liar.**

**Iz: Shut up! Anyways here is chapter 4! And hopefully Kiki will back for the ending AN.**

* * *

><p>Madam Red and Ciel were playing chess while discussing the Jack the Ripper case.<p>

"Chess is kind of confusing, " Iz said looking at the chess board.

"That is against the rules you know," Madam Red said after Ciel knocked over her Queen with his Knight."

Ciel is a cheater," Iz said to Kiki and pointed at Ciel.

"Indeed, it would be if this was a game but rules such as that have no true meaning in the real world. There are always knights who break the rules and pawns who betray, if you let your guard down it's checkmate." Ciel said moving his Knight.

"What is Sebastian in you're 'chess of life'?" Kiki asked curiously.

"I bet he is his Queen," Iz whispered to Kiki giggling.

"No Ciel would be the Queen, he look pretty as a girl!"

"I can hear you two!" Ciel snapped at them.

"No, I think Sebastian because the queen I believe has a move open range of moves and helps protect the king, Ciel, from being defeated," Iz argued ignoring Ciel.

"I said I can hear you two bloody buggers talking about Sebastian and me!" Ciel yelled getting frustrated with the two teenage girls.

Kiki looked at Ciel, "Would you mind we are having a conversation?"

A red mark appeared on Ciel's head. "Well can the queen be male?" Kiki asked.

"Is that possible? Gay chess sets?" Iz asked.

"Sebastian take them out of this room..." Ciel said.

"Yes my Lord," Sebastian grabbed Iz and Kiki and started "escorting" them out.

"Sebastian is touching me!" Kiki said with a smile.

"That sounded wrong..."Iz, always with the perverted take on things, said.

Kiki didn't bother glaring at Iz, what did she have to glare about? Sebastian dropped them out of the room. "Bye Sebastian!" Kiki giggled.

"C'mon you fangirl moron," Iz sighed dragging Kiki off. "Lets get ready, We are going to meet the real Grell later!" Iz smiled.

_***Page Break of Awesomeness* **_

"It's raining..." Kiki complained.

"No, really?" Iz said sarcastically.

Kiki glare at Iz.

"You two behave and don't attract attention," Ciel ordered Iz and Kiki.

"Whatever," They replied."

You know I notice the murdered prostitutes have something else in common," Ciel said leaning against the wall.

"Such glossy black hair," Sebastian said softly.

"I still don't understand why he had to kill them all," Ciel continued.

"So very lovable it could almost be a sin," Sebastian said seriously.

"What's more I-""So soft, oh, so soft," Sebastian cut off Ciel.

"Listening to me when I am talking to you!" Ciel snapped at Sebastian.

"I'm sorry sir, but she is so beautiful...and soft," Sebastian said as the cat in his arms meowed.

Kiki then turned her glare to the cat when a scream was heard.

Ciel ran around the corner. "Young Master!" Sebastian said as Iz and Kiki yelled, "Ciel!"

Ciel opened the door froze at the entrance.

"Come away," Sebastian said covering Ciel's eyes.

"Is that a dead body? I wanna see!" Kiki said and tried to get a peek of the dead body

"Kiki!" Iz yelled grabbing her wrist.

"What?" Kiki asked.

"You made quite the bloody mess in there...Jack the Ripper," Sebastian said as someone started walking out.

"I see now..." Kiki said backing up.

"Or should I say, Grell Sutcliffe," Sebastian smirked.

"HI GRELL!" Iz waved.

Everyone looked over at Iz.

"What?" Iz said looking them. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Uh, yeah, you ruined the seriousness of the moment!" Kiki said.

"Well excuse me!" Iz huffed.

"It's so great to talk to you in my true form" Grell said.

"Wait, so your not a butler!" Iz shouted.

"Iz, shut the hell up," Kiki said.

"A grim reaper," Sebastian said.

"Who did ya fall in lurve with Grell?" Iz asked.

"Do you really have to ask that?" Madame Red said walking out.

"Madam Red," Ciel said looking Madam Red.

"Gaspies!" Iz said.

"Seriously, Iz?" Kiki said, "Seriously?"

"Well I'm surprised at this, I didn't think anyone could tell who Grell truly is.."

"I knew from the beginning!" Iz smiled, Kiki hit her on the head.

"Naturally you were on the suspect list from the very beginning..." Ciel said wiping the blood off his face. "All your alibis seem to forced."

"It did? I thought he was good actor. You did good Grell!" Iz said with a smile.

"Can you please kill her?" Kiki asked Grell pointing at Iz.

Iz glared at Kiki, "I'll kill you..." Kiki squeaked and ran behind Sebastian.

Iz folded her arms in front of her and smiled proudly," I'm awesome."

"As a grim reaper it's your job to harvest souls quietly and as a butler it is your job to following your master like a shadow. You failed to both and quite frankly, it disgusts me..."

"Oh Bassy, you wound me..." Grell said.

"Grell is easy. I think he goes for anything with a dick." Iz said to Kiki.

Everyone-except Kiki-stared at Iz in shock for her choice of words. "You idiot!" Kiki said, "Dammit, Iz, keep your mouth shut if you can't stop ruining the seriousness"

"Sorry."

Grell looked back at "Bassy", "You know I'm more deadly then I seem."

"In my name and the name of the Queen I order you, Sebastian put an end to them," Ciel said removing his eye patch.

Iz looked at his right eye and was about to say something when Kiki clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Of course..." Sebastian said.

Kiki stood by Ciel huddling under Sebastian coat with Ciel."How did you get there?" Ciel asked.

"It's raining, I hate rain..Now shhh Grell and Sebastian are fighting..." Kiki whispered.

"Wimp," Iz said looking up into the rain. "It feels nice."

Soon Grell had Sebastian pinned to a wall with the chainsaw inching towards his shoulder.

"Well it looks like it's you and me," Madame Red said.

Kiki's eyes widen and she stepped out from under the coat and ran behind Iz.

"Note to self, if I ever need back up _never_ ask Kiki," Iz said giving Kiki a look.

Kiki pointed at Madam Red who was only four feet from them and going after Ciel with a knife, "Go help Ciel."

Iz gave Kiki an "Are you fucking serious?" face, "Sebastian will save him and if not...he had a good twelve years."

"His parents died in a fire, he was alone, the person closest to him is a demon who has no choice but to stay with him 'cause of a contract, how is that a good twelve years?" Kiki asked.

"Do you want you stop the maniac with a knife?" Iz asked

"...It was a good twelve years."

A huge explosion of blood appeared. "Sebastian don't kill her!" Ciel said and Sebastian stopped, breathing heavily he gripped his bloody shoulder.

"Sebby!" Kiki said running to him.

"Oh no you don't" Iz said pulling Kiki back.

"How sweet, Bassy, sacrificing your own limb," Grell said pulling out the chainsaw from the wall.

"I can't do it," Madame Red said dropping the knife, "I can't kill him."

"Really? You're going soft on me now? After all those deaths?" Grell asked.

"Madame..." Ciel whispered."I can't! he's-" Madame started but was stopped when Grell's chainsaw went through her chest.

"It's to late for that, what use do I have for you if you're just another woman?"

"Well you're a man-" Iz started.

"I am a lady!" Grell shouted back.

"Shhh! Her memories are playing!" Kiki said.

"_I had hated the red hair I inherited from my father…_

'Your hair is beautiful, like spider lilies. Red suits you well...'

_But I came to love it after all, I came to love the color red, I came to love him._

'Ann! I have wonderful news!'

_My sister...Once again, I hated the color red. But I could never bring myself to hate them...Eventually I too had a man and got married._

'What do you think? a boy or a girl?'

'Men are so impatient, How would I know that?'

_It didn't happen at all in the way I wanted it to...But still, I thought I had found happiness..._

'That carriage hit someone! Call a doctor!'

_Then it all slipped away..._

'Your husband died instantly and to save your life, we were forced to remove your uterus, and your unborn child with it. I'm sorry but we had no choice'

_Everything...Everything slipped away from me, I had lost the man I had come to love and my dear child before it was even born. The stain spread, it covered everything, that color I so hated, the color red. My sister was buried with the man she loved, if only...if only my heart had been buried in the ground with them._

'Honestly a child would only be in the way, I don't know who the father is and my costumers wouldn't like a child hanging around'

_I had lost everything in my life, that women had what I wanted most, what I would never get the chance to have again, and she threw it away without a second thought, I wanted to stain her too._

'Oh hello, you're that doc- Wha-What are you doing? No! No wait!'

_I decided to stain everything red with my own hands... _

'My, My, That was quite a little show...'

_That's when I met my blood red grim reaper... A few months later my missing nephew suddenly appeared._

'Oh, Ciel!'

_With him he brought a butler dressed in black..._

'You're really safe.'

_I got at least one thing back..._

'Thank goodness, at least we still have you, let me take a look at your darling face,'

_A child of the man I loved, and my sister...If this child could come back, then why couldn't my beloved? Why wasn't I the one he chose to marry? I had decided I would right all the wrongs I had been dealt..._

'YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING!'"

"THAT'S SO SAD!" Kiki cried, "SO SAD!"

"Now who ruined the serious moment?" Iz asked.

"Shut up," Kiki said. "Besides it wasn't serious and it was over."

"Such a dissapointment," Grell said tossing his black coat, "You don't deserve to wear the color red," He grabbed Madame Red's jacket and pulled it on.

"Your cheap little melodrama ends now. Goodbye, Madam Red," Grell looked down at Madam Red.

"Bastard," Iz mutter out of earshot.

"Well, what are you waiting you? I thought I order you to put an end to Jack the Ripper, it's not over yet," Ciel looked up at Sebastian," One is left. Stop standing there and kill him!"

Sebastian;s slightly shocked face turn into a smile," Certainly."

Grell chuckled, " I was going to spare you, professional courtesy and all that but if you insist I'll send you and the boy to Heaven together!"

"Heaven, you're joking," Sebastian jumped up behind Grell, "I know nothing of Heaven." Sebastian kicked Grell in the face.

"You would kick a lady in the face! Where are your manners, sir?" Grell yelled waving his chainsaw up and down.

"Lady?" Kiki and Iz asked.

"Terribly sorry, you see I am simply one hell of a butler."

"Ha! You think a demon like you can beat a reaper?"

"Certainly, you see if my master tells me to win I shall win," Sebastian said looking down at Ciel.

"Sebastian is awesome," Kiki said peeping out from behind Iz.

"You're still behind me! Why?" Iz asked looking at Kiki.

"I don't want blood to get on my clothes."

"You care a lot about the puny little brat, don't you?" Grell said.

"Ciel is not a puny little brat!" Iz shouted.

"Demon or not, if I reap you with my death scythe it's bye-bye, Are you frightened?" Grell asked.

"Not at all," Sebastian said holding his bloodied hand to his chest.

"He's so hot isn't he?" Kiki smiled.

"Shut up..." Iz deadpanned.

"I belong to my master, my soul, body and hair are his-"

Kiki and Iz began quietly giggling.

"The contract remains so I follow his every order, That's what it means to be a butler," Sebatian smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Kiki: HOLY FUCKING CRAP! That took FOREVER to write!<br>**

**Iz: It sure did. Partly because we kept forgetting how the episode went and because I was on my death bed.**

**Kiki: Dramatic much?**

**Iz: Fine, I caught a cold. Thanks again to HeavyMetalRose and thanks also Tailsdoll123 for reviewing! **

**Kiki: *Starts crying***

**Ciel: What are you crying about?**

**Kiki: Episode 5 makes me cry!**

**Ciel and Iz: =.=' **

**Iz: Sap.**

**Ciel: Didn't you say you cried when you saw Soul Eater and thought that- *Iz covered Ciel's mouth***

**Iz: Shut up!**

**Sebastian: Only I am allowed to touch my master. **

**Kiki and Iz: *Giggles***

**Kiki: Till next time :P**

**QueensOfAnimeObsessions **


	5. AN

**Kiki: Hi! It's me, One Hell Of A Stalker!**

**Iz: And I be GirlUdon'tMessWith x)**

**Kiki: So I was thinking, you guys don't know what the hell we look like! and stuff... **

**Iz: Yes because this is stuff you need to know about us to stalk us. Which Kiki knows all about! **

**Kiki: I'm one hell of a stalker naturally...Anyways Here's what we look like**

**Name: Kailey (Is called Kiki) (Pfft Yea like I'd ever tell you my last name!)**

**Age: 16**

**Description: Dark brown hair to her waist, tan skin, dark brown eyes, about 5 foot (SHORT D:), very skinny (90 LBS) (Kiki: Say this is a Mary Sure and I kill you, this is me in real life :P Except...I'm 13...xD)**

**Personality: Is Cheerful and happy but one wrong move and you're her enemy, NOT a morning person, very hyper, random, bitchy, looses things a lot, gets lost easily, very violent**

**Likes: Sebastian, Cats, Pandas, Black, short skirts/shorts, her VERY long sleeve thin black jacket that she wears in any weather, Music, Dance, being lazy, books, Anime, food, gore and Sebastian**

**Dislikes: Dogs, Bright Colors, Long pants, Stupid people, Work, being bossed by people, creepy life sized dolls, exercise, outdoors, mornings and being social**

**Extra Info: Has a bunch of Anime shows on her iPod touch **

**Name: (Iz: Ah why not.) Isabella. Called Iz.**

**Age: 16 (Iz: 13 for real.)**

**Description: Long curly black hair, long side bangs that covers half the top of her left eye, dark dark, that sometimes seem black, color eyes, long eyelashes, tan skin, 5 feet and 2 inches, 108 pounds but is still skinny. (Iz: all this is true about me also.)**

**Personality: Random, can be nice if you're nice to her if not she will be a bitch. Is very perverted. Smart and jokes a lot.**

**Likes: Animals that are not rodents, R&B/pop/pop punk/ rap music, skinny jeans, hoodies, tight t-shirts, flats, converse, head bands with bows, perverted jokes, the color red and purple and meat. Oh and chocolate.**

**Dislikes: Rodents, idiots, annoying people, getting dirty, really short skirts/shorts, and people calling her emo/scene.**

**Extra: Will glomp any anime character she loves. **

**Kiki: xD OK That pretty much sums us up and don't forget! We can't post a chapter until we get 1 review! ;3**

**Ciel: DON'T REVIEW!**

**Iz: Ciel, Don't make me get out the duct tape...**

**Ciel: No! **

**Iz: Yes!**

**Kiki: Calm down we don't need more blood stains... **

**Iz: Aww...**

**Kiki: Kay so, review or I'll stalk you :3**

**One Hell Of A Stalker & GirlUdon'tMessWith a.k.a. QueensOfAnimeObsessions **


	6. Chapter 6

**Kiki: Hello To All I'm so happy, I've finished watching the entire Black Butler Season today and Probably in 2 days I'll finish Season 2 :3 I is so happy**

**Iz: I'm still working on finishing season one. I'm into a bunch different animes right now.**

**Kiki: Black butler kept making me cry! *Hugs Sebastian* I didn't like episode 20! *Cries***

**Sebastian: =.=' Please excuse these two and enjoy the chapter.**

**Ciel: And those two do not own Black Butler which I am very grateful for.**

**Kiki: *still crying***

* * *

><p>"Here we are...Demon and Reaper!" Grell said, swinging his chainsaw at Sebastian.<p>

Sebastian went after Grell at which Grell jumped out of the way of.

"I suppose we'll never resolve this. These feelings that we have are forbidden. Oh my, it's just like Romeo and Juliet!" Grell said.

"Ew...," Iz and Kiki said with disgusted faces.

"Oh my dear Bassy, where art thou my sweet Bassy?" Grell said, receiving a glare from Sebastian.

"Grell's gonna die.." Kiki glared.

Sebatian sent a kick at Grell's face, but Grell dodged it.

"You caress me with your gaze! Oh I'd bare your babies if you let me!" Grell said, wiggling his hips.

"Please stop, that disgusts me..." Sebatian said.

"Oh Grell Is Dying!" Kiki yelled.

"Does Grell know that he is a dude and can not bare children?" Iz asked.

Probably Not..." Kiki said, sitting down on the ground by Ciel.

"You're so cruel to me, " Grell smiled at Sebastian.

"Wonder why?" Iz said sarcastically.

"Beautiful tyrant," Grell tried cutting Sebastian's legs, but he jumped up out of the way, "My dove feathered raven."

"I seriously think Grell has mental issues…, " Kiki said, "Hey Ciel, do you think it's a bad time to tell you I don't want to be a maid anymore? I want to be a gardener..." Ciel sent Kiki a half glare.

"I think it was a bad time...," Iz whispered to Kiki.

Kiki hugged Ciel. "I'm Sorry!" Then went back to watch Grell and Sebastian.

Grell was looking at Sebastian's records, "Who are these people? What the hell is this?"

"That is what my life has been for the past two years, after all."

"I'm not interested in seeing your daily chores! I know all that! Come on show me the good stuff!" Grell said, jumping around like an idiot.

"You would have preferred Sebastian porn," Iz said smirking.

"IZ!" Kiki yelled.

"You know I think Kiki would also like Sebastian porn," Iz said ignoring Kiki.

"I don't care if you're my friend, you die!" Kiki said, trying to strangle Iz.

Iz laugh as she pushed Kiki away from her," Kiki wants Sebby porn! Kiki wants Sebby porn!"

Kiki went up behind Iz and started cutting off her air flow, "Shut the fucking hell up..."

Ciel looked at them funny for a second.

Iz elbowed Kiki causing Kiki to let go, "Shit, I was just joking! No need to fucking KILL ME!"

"Sorry, I'm afraid I charge for the juicy bits," Sebastian said.

Iz and Kiki, realizing Grell and Sebastian could couldn't hear them, started laughing like idiots.

Sebastian sighed, "My clothes are ruined again..."

"You must be pretty confident to worry about your clothes right now," Grell said, "But you know, I've always appreciated a sharp looking man. Well done, Bassy!"

Sebastian took his tail coat off, "This was one move I didn't want to use...But I have no other choice."

"So you're going to fight me at last. Perhaps we'll meet again, farewell, Bassy," Grell said.

Grell swung the chainsaw and then the motor started stopping.

"Huh?" Grell looked at the chainsaw. "What the Hell!" Grell asked as he landed on the roof.

"That was my finest tailcoat, made of the highest quality, Yorkshire wool," Sebastian said.

"How could you do this?" Grell whined, trying to pull the coat out.

"I got that coat at the manor, and I certainly didn't want to use it for something like this. But you already ruined it, afterall. So then, Mr. Cuts, yes? That suits me quite," Sebastian cracked his knuckles, "I do have some expertise in that area."

"No, please, just on request! Not….my face!" Grell yelled.

"Yes, not his face, " Iz said sarcastically.

"Kick him in the face!" Kiki yelled fist pumping the air.

Sebastian started aiming kicks and punches at Grell's face. "I said no face!" Grell yelled, while being hit.

Grell started falling towards Kiki and Ciel. Kiki squeaked and covered her head from the oncoming Grell. Sebastian kicked Grell out of the way.

"Oh, that's gotta hurt!" Iz said seeing him land on his face

I'm sorry, I seemed to misjudge the distance, my lord..."

"Gasp, Sebastian made a mistake!" Iz mocked.

"You look awful," Ciel said to Sebastian.

"I think Sebastian looks awesome covered in blood," Kiki mumbled dreamily as Sebastian walked over to Grell with the chainsaw. Sebastian raised the chainsaw and was swinging it down when a spear came out of no where and stopped it. a guy standing on a roof retracted the spear and used it to push up his glasses.

"Sorry to interrupt, I'm-"

"IT'S WILLIAM!" Kiki shrieked, "Hi Will!"

"Sorry about her; she freaks out over everyone," Iz said.

"So do you," Kiki replied to Iz.

"Touche," Iz looked at Kiki," That's fun to say. Touche, touche...to...shay."

Will gave Kiki and Iz an exasperated look before looking back at Grell and Sebastian, "As I was saying before being rudely interrupted, I am William T. Spears-"

"Are you an ancestor of Britney Spears?" Iz asked receiving another annoyed look from Will. "Sorry, continue."

"I am an administrator at the Grim Reaper Staffing Association," Will pushed up his glasses with his weapon, "I came to take charge of that reaper there."

"Will! William! So you came to save me -urg!" Grell's head was then jump on by Will.

Will took out a book and, while still standing on the back of Grell's head, said, "Temp worker Grell Sutcliff you have violated regulations. Firstly, you killed people not on the To-Die list. Secondly, you used a death scythe for which a permission form was not filed for. And finally, you attempted to leak information about the cause of death and the identity of a murder." Will press hard of Grell's head.

"Will has to keep control over bitches, " Iz whispered to Kiki giggling.

Will bowed to Sebastian, " I am sorry for the trouble this wretched has caused. Oh, here's my card," Will handed Sebastian his card. "Really, I never thought I'll see the day I bow my head to a beast like you. This is a disgrace to the Grim Reaper profession."

"I LOVE YOU WILL!" Kiki yelled out, which is why Iz covered Kiki's mouth with her hand.

"Shut up!" Iz said.

"You should keep close watch over your staff so that they don't cause trouble for us beast," Sebastian threw the card over his shoulder, "Humans are very susceptible to temptations."

"Which is why there is a lot of teen pregnancies, " Iz said earning a slap from Kiki.

"When they are placed in the hellish bowels of despair, if a spiders thread appears before them that could get them out, they will sling to it without fail."

"Kinda like how Kiki clings to her Sebastian dol-Mphgh!" Iz said before Kiki stuffed a piece of cloth from her apron into her mouth.

"Don't ever mention that!" Kiki yelled at Iz.

"Aren't you demons, the ones who take advantage of that, to deceive humans and prey upon them?" Will asked pushing up his glasses once again with his scythe.

"I won't deny it," Sebastian smirked

"Yeah, he did do it to Ciel," Iz pointed at Ciel.

"You tell me to shut up and you keep interrupting serious moments with stupid statements," Kiki said hitting Iz on the head again.

"You are very abusive," Iz said rubbing her head.

"Thanks!" Kiki smiled.  
>"Come, Grell Sutcliff, We're leaving," William said, "Honestly, we're already shorthanded, and now we won't be able to finish during regular hours today, either." They walked away, well Will was walking, Grell was being dragged.<p>

"That looks painful," Iz said looking at Grell getting dragged off.

"Bye ,Will! Bye, Grell!" Kiki waved.

Sebastian threw the chainsaw at Will, he caught it with two fingers.

"You forgot that," Sebastian smiled.

"Nice catch, Will!" Kiki shouted.

"Shut up," Iz said annoyed.

"Make me" Kiki glared.

"Oh, I will..."Iz said glaring down at Kiki.

Kiki stuck her tongue out at Iz.

"I can't take you two anywhere, can I?" Sebastian sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Iz asked.

Sebastian ignored the question and walked up to Ciel. He touched Ciel's cheek, "Your chilled to the bone. Let's hurry back to the town house. I'll make you some hot milk."

"Good idea," Ciel stood up and started to fall.  
>"Young Master!" Sebastian caught Ciel. Ciel slapped him away. "Young master?"<p>

"Never mind. I'm fine I can stand by myself."

"Really, 'cause it seemed like you were about to go splat, "Iz banged her hands together.

"I'm just tired that's all," Ciel said.

*Page break-a-roo yes a-roo!*

The church's bells dinged as three children ran across the front.

"Big brother," said the little girl. Her brothers and her stopped at the gate of the church and look at it. "Lot's of people today, huh, big brother? Why?"

"Dunno," replied the oldest brother.

"You're older. You don't know?" Asked the younger brother.

"Are you dumb," asked the younger sister, as she pointed at her big brother.

"I'm only twelve I don't have to know!'

"Indeed, it is only natural a normal 12-year-old wouldn't know," said the Undertaker. "Today is a certain noblewoman's big day."

"And they made us wake outside!" Iz said popping out from behind the Undertake with Kiki. "Do you know the epicness that could be going on in there!"

"Unfair," Kiki pouted. "Even though I hate the bit- " she stopped looking at the little kids, "The noble lady...I still want to go in there! Like Iz said 'Epicness'"

"Anyways, I'm gonna ask Ciel if he can teach me chess on my homemade chess set when he gets out," Iz said.

"You made a chess set?" Kiki asked.

"Mhmm," Iz smiled.

"Nice," Kiki laughed.

"Wait until you see it!" Iz said.

"What is the big day," the little girl asked.

"I forgot about them..." Kiki said.

The Undertaker replied, "It's her final biggest ceremony in life...the funeral."

Iz snuck quietly behind the children and waited two seconds after Undertaker said 'The funeral" to shout, "BOO!"

*World's best page break!*

"What suits you is a passionate red. The color of spider lilies blazing in the fields...Aunt An," Ciel whispered to Madam Red's corpse gently placing a flower in her red hair.

Rose petals blew in from the doorway of the church. There was a bright light and the shadow of someone standing there. The light went away and there stood...Iz.

"Yo,Yo! What up? Iz did a peace sign with her right hand and did her "Gangsta Impression."

"Iz, get the fuck out of there and stop ruing the moment with you horrible gangsta impression!" Kiki said hitting Iz in the back of the head before pulling her away from the doorway.

Ciel look down at Madam Red's body," Sleep well...Madam Red."

*What's this? Another page break perhaps? Yes it is.*

"This is-"

"My final costumer from Jack The Ripper," The Undertaker interrupted Sebastian.

"He refers to the dead as his costumers?" Iz asked Kiki

"Apparently so, " she replied.

"Apparently, she was an immigrate. They couldn't find anyone to claim her body." Ciel said, looking at her grave.

"So, your kind hearted earl here hired me to pretty her up and even erected the gravestone for her." The Undertaker said.

"Erected..." Iz giggled.

"I'm not kind hearted. If I had given her life first priority that night, there would have been plenty ways to save her. But I instead, prioritized catching Jack the Ripper. I knew she wouldn't be saved. I knew, and I let her die." Ciel said not taking his eyes of the tombstone but not really looking at it.

"Are you having regrets?" The Undertaker asked.

"No, Jack the Ripper is gone, and Her Majesty's anxieties are resolved."

"Victoria, eh? I don't like her. She forces all the misery onto you while she just watches, " The Undertaker said.

"This is my family's lot in life. It's been pasted down for generations like this ring," Ciel said holding up his hand with the family ring on it.

"That ring is like a dog collar. It connects you to the Queen by chains of "Fate"," The Undertaker said, grabbing Ciel.

"Says the one who eats dog treats." Kiki muttered.

"I'm the on who chose this!" Ciel pushed the Undertaker away.

The Undertaker grabbed Ciel by his tie, " I pray you are never hung by that collar."

Ciel got out of his grip and fell into Sebastian's arms.

"That would be so boring," The Undertaker continued. "Come by the shop whenever you need something. You and your butler are always welcomed." The Undertaker gave Ciel the bouquet of flowers and walked off.

"What about us?" Iz shouted. "No answer of course."

Ciel placed the flowers on the grave.

"You are kindhearted." Sebastian said.

"Don't make me repeat myself! I'm not kind-"

"Yes your are kindhearted. If you are not perhaps that means you are weak."

"Why you!" Ciel turned and glared at Sebastian.

"Why didn't you shoot?" Sebastian asked.

"I know why!" Kiki said, who was sitting on Sebastian's foot with her arms wrapped around his leg-Sebastian sweatdropped.

"Kiki, shut up" Iz said.

"Fine, " kiki said but still held onto Sebastian.

Iz pulled her off, "Continue."

" 'I let my own flesh and blood die'? I take a dim view of lies, you know. If you had wanted to shoot her then you could of had. But you wavered, and even when I urged you but you refused to draw your gun. Why? Were you afraid to kill Madam Red yourself? Do you mean to tell me you can kill a stranger but not you own kin? Because it was your job." Sebastian said looking down at Ciel.

"I thought you were to protect me even at the cost of your own life. That's why I didn't shoot. Our contract demands that you serve me, that you protect me and not kill me until my goal has been achieved. I imagine a demon has no "principles" or "loyalty"." All you have is aesthetics. As for the sake of your own aesthetics, you will protect me no matter what. Am I wrong?" Ciel finished.

"Why did you stop me then?" Sebastian said tilting his head.

"Sebastian looks so hot right now," Kiki said.

"There was hesitation in her eyes as she moved to kill me. As I thought she wouldn't be able to kill me...her own kin. One wrong move can cost a person her life. It is just like chest. She hesitated and lost site of her next move. That's all there is to it. So I won't hesitated, " Ciel replied and started walking off.

Sebastian turned his head to look at Ciel, " That's what I like to hear. Always skillfully manipulate your chest pieces and survive. Use me and Madam Red and any pieces within your reach. Even if the bodies of your pawns pile up at your throne...because if the king falls...this game is over."

Ciel stopped walking, "I won't stop, and I won't regret the steps I've taken. So this is an order: You are the one man who must not betray me! Don't leave my side. Ever."

"Yes, my lord, " said Sebastian as he bowed.

Ciel started walking off.

"Wait! Ciel I wanted to ask you something! Can you teach me how to play chest?" Iz asked, catching up to Ciel.

"What? You want me to teach you chest?" Ciel asked.

"Yes on the chest board I made."

"Chest board you made?"

"Yeah! Look..." Iz pulled her chest board out of her bag. "I made a gay chest set!"

"Oh dear lord..." Ciel said frowning.

"Look one queen is a Drag Queen the other is Sebastian. The side with Sebastian as a queen has you has the "King" in your dress! Oh and look the bishops have boners!" Iz held up one of the bishop smiling.

"No I will not teach you and I want you to get that thing away from me." Ciel said

"Do you want me to get the whole chest set away from you or just the bishop?" Iz said with the bishop's boner next to Ciel's face.

"The whole thing."

"So the not this?" Iz asked holding the bishop closer to his face.

"The whole thing and that."

"This?" Iz said making the bishop's boner touch Ciel's nose.

"Yes, you imbecile!" Ciel said finally smacking Iz's hand away.

"No need to get violent you could have just said so!" Is said while putting her chest set back in her bag.

"Wait, Ciel! Look at the card set I made!" Kiki laughed and pulled out a deck of cards from within her shirt.

"What now?" Ciel asked.

"Mine's not nearly as perverted as Iz's chess set but look!" Kiki held up the cards, " See, you're the Queen cause you make a pretty girl, Sebas-chan is the King!"

"At least it's not perverted-HOW DID YOU GET A PICTURE OF ME IN THAT DRESS!"

"I have my ways!" Kiki laughed, "Oh and I'm calling you Bocchan from now on."

"It's not to late to kick them out of the manor," Sebastian said.

"B-but Sebas-chan! I thought we loved each other!" Kiki said all teary eyed hugging Sebastian's arm, "We're soul mates!"

"Oh, boy" Iz grumbled.

"Soul mates? He doesn't even know you!" Ciel yelled frustrated.

"I think you are just jealous." Kiki replied snuggling up to Sebastian's arm.

"Please control your friend, " Ciel said to Iz.

"You didn't deny about being jealous!" Iz said smiling.

"What ever convinced me to agree to let these two stay with me?" Ciel asked no one.

"Aw...who could resist us?" Iz and Kiki said doing moe-moe pout faces.

"Anyone who has eyes! One is Miss Slut and the other...I don't know what the fuck the other is!" Ciel yelled

"I think you're the slut," Iz said to Kiki.

"I think you're the WTF," Kiki replied.

"Cool..." Iz said.

"I'm getting the WTF thing you're talking about, Ciel," Kiki said turning to where Ciel was standing. "Ciel? Ciel! Where did he go?"

"The little bitch ditched us!" Iz shouted. "He would so get an ass-kicking if his butler was not a demon that protected him!"

"Jesus tap-dancing Christ!" Kiki said. "Sebas-chan left me!" She wailed.

"No surprise there," Iz muttered.

"Shut up," Kiki growled, "C'monlets try and find our way back..."

*Page Break of Awesomeness*

"How did you guys get here so fast?" Ciel scowled.  
>"I'm simply one hell of a stalker," Kiki smiled.<p>

"That or...we stole a carriage?" Iz laughed sheepishly.

* * *

><p><strong>Kiki: God that took forever, just so you know it's Iz's fault...<strong>

**Iz: I had a lot of school work, okay! Excuse me for preparing myself for the real world! Anyways, I am sorry for holding up this chap.**

**Kiki: I've already prepared myself for the real world!**

**Iz: How is being an crazed anime freak preparing you?**

**Kiki: I'm gonna be a anime voice actor! :3 Anyways thanks to...Where is my list of**  
><strong>reviewers? *Searches for paper*<strong>

**Iz: Thank you Wenyigo, HeaveyMetalRose, God's Little Helper, xDemon Chickx, Ebonystream of StormClan, and xXMeitanteiKuroChiXx for reviewing!**

**Kiki: See those reviews? We asked for one and you took so damn long that we got seven.**

**Iz: Isn't that good?**

**Kiki: Yeah, well, you're missing the point!**

**Iz: I don't get you...**

**Kiki: =.= Anyways, thanks for the reviews!**

**Iz: We had Sebastian plushies for everyone but...**

**Kiki: MY PLUSHIES!**

**Iz: So enjoy some hot fresh out of the computer chocolate chip cookies...**

**QueensOfAnimeObsessions**


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